A DEEP RAMBLE

I really want to reflect over what I've done this past week; it feels like I haven't achieved much recently. I fear that work has become my new college environment and that my work friends have replaced my college friends.  To me this will never happen, I don't replace anyone in my life, I just expand on my social groups and everyone will always remain special to me.  But I do genuinely fear that people may think this, but please don't. As I was looking through my calander before it dawned on me that over the past ten days I've only had two days off work.  That would suggest to me that I've spent wayyyy too much time working and not enough time playing!

The most memorable event over the past week has deifinetely been my traditional Thursday night out with my friends from work.  I had a delicious three course meal at Frankie and Benny's and then I went on to the weekly student night in town where I downed Archers and lemonade for £1.50, bargain. I love my weekly night out with the girls for food and then usually the guys will join us for the drinks.  Typical boys really, interested in the alcohol.  The night lead onto a night club and then a long taxi ride home.

Although I've socialised quite a bit over the past week, but I've also had a lot of time to think.  Having spent time endlessly over-thinking my future and actually analysing my life I've realised quite a lot.  I am what people would call an over-thinking, self-conscious person who doesn't want to miss out or not be the most worldly. 

I've always been an over-thinker ever since I was younger.  I over-think every aspect of my life and that leads to also being an over-analyser, which is practically what I am doing now... I think too much about things that I'm about to do and how people will perceive my actions.  I worry what people will think of me and if I'll offend them by just being myself.  I'm probably one of the most honest people out there, I don't believe in lies because I personally believe that liars are always caught out in the end, so I worry people will hate me because of my honesty.  My anti-no-lies stance has lost me friends over the years when I've pointed out their blatant lies and that worries me that one day I'll have no-one left, but I know that there's people out there like me.  I worry that my genuine happy approach to life will lose me friend too, because I might be perceieved as fake, but my happiness isn't fake.  This is me over-analysing once again.  I over-analyse every relationship in my life whether it's family, friends or boys.  My ability to over-analyse everything enable me to link events together and create inter-linking theories of utter noncesense. It's probably some weird form of OCD actually.  Although I go through life over-thinking and over-analysing every aspect of my life I believe that my life is a path that has already been planned, so no matter what happens it's meant to happen so I should be happy about it.

Another annoying thing about my personality is that I'm someone who doesn't want to miss out.  This genuinely means that I end up going practically everywhere that I'm asked to go to.  I just have this fear that I might miss out on something great and I don't want to miss the opportunity for fun. 

I love the fact that from the age of 17 I've had a job and that I've had the opportunity to learn to drive.  This is something that not all of my friends have had the opportunity of, so I genuinely value these priceless experiences that I've had.  The fact that I turned 18 so early in the year in contrast to some of my friends from college meant that I've had the chance to experience life as an 18-year-old with friends from work.  This has meant that I've experienced night clubs, resturants and places that other friends haven't yet experienced.  I've also had experiences within these clubs and environments and met people that other friends have yet to experience.  So I will admit that when these friends finally start to experience these things I will start to feel a bit sad about the fact that I'm no longer the most worldly.  I like that fact about myself and I suppose it could be suggested that I am a tad jealous that others are experiencing the wonderful social life that I've experienced over the past 7 months, and I don't like that about myself.  But this is all because I'm fairly competitive in some aspects of my life and I genuinely hate that others are experiecing the same as me and I fear that they'll have more fun at experiencing what I've already experienced or that they'll experience more than me and I won't be the most worldly anymore.

But don't let my little ramble leave a lasting impression on you. I just sometimes over-think and that means I end up chatting complete rubbish. 

HELLO

Sorry I have been M.I.A this past week.  I've been rather busy revising for my upcoming A-level exams.  My first exam was on Monday (German History) and I think it went fairly well.  My heart literally stopped as I turned over the page to see the exam questions, but luckily it returned to normal beating order when I saw that they actually weren't too bad.  The only question that stumped me a litttle was a question which was only supposed to have a 15 year time period, but it weirdly had a 30 year time period.  Hopefully I dealt with okay though.

On Tuesday I had a haircut, *sighs*.  I regretting it now.  My hair which was down to my waist is now about 4 inches below my shoulder.  Which to me is beyond short!  My usual hairdresser is on maternity leave so I had to have another hairdresser cut it for me.  I literally told the hairdresser that I only wanted the 'dead ends' cutting off, meaning about 3 inches. But he got too scissor happy and chopped away.  Which annoyed me primarily because I know for certain I didn't really have many dead ends in the first place as I get a regular trim every other month.  Suprisingly I haven't cried, I'm just annoyed.  Hopefully it'll be the length I wanted it to be by March.  And in conlusion I won't be going to that hairdresser again. 

Tomorrow I've got one of my friends 18th Birthday, so I've highly excited for that.  My entire year is going, so it should be a laugh.  I'll be seeing people I haven't seen since my Year 11 Prom back in 2010.  This is because many of them didn't stay at the Sixth Form located at my High School.  As a result of this, we've made new friends and clearly grown apart.  But there's nothing like a long time friend bring together old friends.  To get into the party spirit I've spent the last couple of hours searching Topshop for the perfect dress and I discovered this beauty:

The dress cost me a whopping £46 which was justified by Mum saying that I can wear it on several occassions and the summer.  What I love about this dress is that it has a really flattering shape and it's very simple.  The material is really thick and it feels like amazing quality.  But for now that is all I can say until I've officially worn it out.

Also this week I bought two uh-may-zing Jack Wills 'boyfit' shirts.  I've just had a quick Google of these shirts and I cannot find them online.  So I'll post a picture of them in a couple of days.  Jack Wills is honestly the most amazing quality clothing you could find on the High Street.  I honestly wouldn't even call it High Street, it's certainly a 'designer' brand in my opinion.

But anyway, I need to get back to my History homework and my revision.  Roll on tomorrow and certainly next week!

18TH BIRTHDAY!

Today was such a great day! Not only did I have the most wonderful Birthday, I also got to spend the day with friends and family.  My friends and family mean the world to me.  My beloved family even put my Birthday in the local newspaper, including a shameful picture of me from when I was 6!  But I still love 'em.

My bestfriend, Katy, sent my card in the post.  The card had come straight from Moonpig.com, and it was literally the most thoughtful card I have ever received.  The card was covered in pictures from over the past couple of years.  There were pictures of me and her, and pictures of us with mutual friends.  When I opened up the card the opening page had a beautiful verse in it about when we first met and how it's so strange that 13 years later we're still the bestest of friends.  Having just opened the present from my parents I was pretty emotional as it was,  but then reading this card caused me to burst into tears.  I guess I'm a little emotional?

I just thought I'd show you a couple of pictures of some of the things I received.  My parents got me my first ever Tiffany&co bracelet! Eeep!  I put it on my wrist as soon as I opened the box.  I was unaware of what I was getting for my Birthday this year as I told my parents to, "suprise me." Well they certainly didn't disappoint!  I love my new bracelet so much.  My maternal Auntie got me a Shamballa bracelet, which was also a complete suprise.  I had seen Ollie Locke and Chloe Green wearing Shamballa bracelets on Made In Chelsea a couple of months ago (at the time though I wasn't sure of what they were called).  However after a bit of research I discovered the name and a love for these beautiful bracelets!



My Nan is aware of how much I love to read books, particularly romance novels.  So in the form of an amazingly thoughful gift she bought me a Kindle.  Which I've now become obsessed with.  I find the screen so trippy, it's literally like reading a piece of paper, but it's electric.  Mind. Equals. Blown.  My little brother also bought me a purple leather case to protect it, which I thought was cute of him.

I received other gifts such as: make-up, shower sets and boots.  But I mainly received money, which I'm happy with.  My friends have asked me what I would like or if there was something I wanted in particular, but I've constantly found myself saying that I would like money if they were to get me anything.  I always find it pretty awkward when people ask you what you would like for your Birthday, I feel that by suggesting something I'm being really cheeky.

After a lovely day in college, including playing the game where someone sticks a persons name on your head and you have to guess who you are, I went for a meal with my family.  We went to a local resturant and as soon as we arrived we bumped into some of my neighbours.  One of these neighbours was the extremely gorgeous, 21-year-old that I've had a crush on since I was about 14.  Cringe.  His father realised it was my 18th Birthday and they bought me a couple of drinks- my first legal alcohol drinks! I then spoke to them for a short period of time before embarressing myself whilst hugging them.  My brain literally went into overdrive and I don't think I took a breath for the entire conversation.  I then hugged everyone (again!) and thanked them before walking swiftly away.  I didn't half make a show of myself.

I was really suprised that as soon as I turned 18, I wasn't asked for ID whilst getting alcohol.  But knowing my luck if I had attempted it yesterday they would have asked for ID.  The only thing I kind of regret about today is that I didn't buy my own first legal drink.  That'll have to take place tomorrow!

However it was the most wonderful 18th Birthday and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I'm so excited for tomorrow!

Peace.

PARTY PLANNING

Frankie and Benny's is where my soiree will be taking place on Friday. EEP!

Last night I enjoyed a late night chat with one of my bestest friends.  Due to my new found inability to sleep, due to the Christmas holidays, I found myself wide awake at 3AM. Again. We both got onto the topic of my 18th Birthday and what I would like to do. And then that's where all the party planning began.

However for the past 2 months friends have been asking me constantly what I am going to do.  College friends have asked me what I'm going to do and then quickly reminded me that if I don't do anything I'll regret it when I'm old and wrinkly.  I've been told numerous times to, "Enjoy being young, you'll be old and grey before you know it." The latest actually came yesterday whilst I was in work.  A work collegue asked me whether or not I would like to go out with everyone from work, and I just couldn't resist the idea! We spoke briefly about going out together about 3 weeks ago.  During a works Christmas get-together we went to the local Wetherspoons where I experienced the cocktails titled: Woo Woo and Black Magic for the very first time.  They were delish and as a result of my Thursday night binge I suffered for my mischief the very next day at 7AM when I had to wake-up for College.  To sum up the night I had a really good laugh and as I result I want to do it again, once I'm legal.   

I've always been a fairly quite girl who had a phobia of throwing a party and no one turning up.  Even though I know deep down people would obviously turn up, it has still prevented me throwing a big Birthday bash (that is why I'm not having a hall party with my entire year group, instead I've settled for 14 close pals). But now that my 18th is in less than a weeks time I've finally gained enough courage to host a small get-together with my friends. 

As I wrote previously I was discussing my plans with a close friend last night.  We decided upon the idea of going to Nando's for a meal and then back to my house for a party.  However when I called Nando's today I experienced some rather rude customer service.The woman on the phone rudely told me that I couldn't book a table for Friday night and then hung-up, even though I had told her that there would be 14 people coming.  So from that ignorant phone call I decided to take my business elsewhere... FRANKIE AND BENNY'S IT IS! The woman on the phone there was extemely polite and actually had great customer service skills.  When I informed her it would be for my 18th Birthday she got all excited and suggested that they could put balloons on the table for me.  Now that's what I call customer service.

So with 1 more day before I'm back in College and 2 more days before my official Birthday, I've got a million-and-one things to do.  Not only do I have to find a great dress for Friday night (squeal!), I need to do a History essay (boo!) and starts some revision (even bigger boo!).

Roll on my Birthday! Woop!

P.s. I'm loving blogging.